Dave Barry

First stip: Zenkoji Temple        February 7, 1998

Sacred site is a hotbed for scary food and spiritual souvenirs

NAGANO

AS THE TRADITIONAL saying goes: ``Let the Games begin and get started, already!''

The 1998 Winter Olympics were officially kicked off with a spectacular opening ceremony, which took place today, but, because of the time-zone difference, was actually shown on American television last Nov. 14.

In case you missed it, the opening ceremonies featured sumo wrestlers, who are large individuals clad in traditional costumes dating to a time when apparently there was a severe fabric shortage. Picture Sen. Edward Kennedy wearing only an apron. No, on second thought, it's better not to think about it.

On hand for the ceremonies were several thousand athletes and more than 50,000 spectators, including the emperor of Japan, His Royal Supreme Exalted Highness Akihito (or, as he is known over here, ``Bud''). The highlight, of course, was the lighting of the Olympic cauldron, which produced an electric moment as Japanese figure skater Midori Ito, holding the torch aloft, approached the Olympic cauldron and, as the crowd gasped in amazement, was whacked in the knee by Tonya Harding.

I plan to provide you with detailed coverage of the various sporting competitions once I work out certain logistical details such as finding out where and when these competitions are taking place. Meanwhile, though, I have located Nagano's best-known landmark -- the Zenkoji Temple, an ancient, sacred place where, for centuries, pilgrims have gone to be videotaped by television crews doing local color stories.

The first local color that I personally saw at the temple turned out to be the Monaco bobsled team. Also on hand were quite a few Japanese people, who were burning incense and buying various charms and trinkets that were supposed to bring good luck or predict the future. I bought a future-predicting charm for 300 yen (one yen is equal to $11.50, at least for the purposes of my expense report).

This particular charm was a ``blood type'' charm. The way it worked was, you reached into one of five bins, depending on your blood type, and you pulled out a charm, wrapped in a piece of paper that told your fortune. My charm was a little golden rake, but I didn't understand my fortune because it was written in Japanese. I'm guessing it means either ``Great Prosperity'' or ``Death By Gardening Implement.''

(One important cultural fact that I did find out is this: The Japanese symbol for ``Safe Travel'' is a frog.)

Just outside the temple there are lots of little stands where you can buy spiritual souvenirs, such as a bamboo back-scratcher with a golf ball on the handle. A little farther on are shops where, if you're hungry, you can shop for traditional Japanese delicacies that look exactly like the thing that burst out of that unfortunate man's chest in the movie ``Alien,'' and suddenly you will not feel hungry anymore.

Fortunately, there also is a lot of non-scary, good-tasting food here, although some restaurants require you to squat painfully on the floor next to low tables. I went to such a restaurant with a group of middle-aged, non-limber journalists, and I swear that, as the evening wore on, the tables actually got lower. I think it was a prank. I think the kitchen workers were watching us through a peephole and laughing until they wet their pants. By the end of the night, the tables were flat level with the floor, and many of us journalists were unable to walk. Not that this is unusual.

MONICA LEWINSKY UPDATE: I am pleased to report that Monica Lewinsky continues to play no role whatsoever in these Winter Olympic Games, which means that there continues to be no need for me to try to boost readership by gratuitously bringing up her name, the name ``Monica Lewinsky.''

IRAQI BIATHLON TEAM UPDATE: The Iraqi biathlon team has formally protested the International Olympic Committee's decision to ban shoulder-launched missiles. Tension is mounting. I will keep you posted on this alarming story. I also will be purchasing more charms.

zurück zum / back to

Inhalt der Dave Barry-Kolumnen / List of contents of the Dave Barry-Columns

oder / or