The Stages of Life
| FOR MEN | FOR WOMEN | |||||
| - | FAVORITE DRINK | - | FAVORITE DRINK | |||
| - | SEDUCTION LINE | - | EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES | |||
| - | FAVORITE SPORT | - | FAVORITE SPORT | |||
| - | DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE | - | DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE | |||
| - | FAVORITE FANTASY | - | FAVORITE FANTASY | |||
| - | HOUSEHOLD PET | - | HOUSEHOLD PET | |||
| - | WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? | - | IDEAL DATE | |||
| - | WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? | |||||
| AGE | FAVORITE DRINK | AGE | FAVORITE DRINK | |||
| 17 | Beer | 17 | Wine coolers | |||
| 25 | Burbon | 25 | White Wine | |||
| 35 | Vodka | 35 | Red Wine | |||
| 48 | Double Vodka | 48 | Dom Perignon | |||
| 66 | Maalox | 66 | Shot of Jack with a Viagra chaser | |||
| AGE | SEDUCTION LINE | AGE | EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES | |||
| 17 | My parents are away for the weekend | 17 | Need to wash my hair | |||
| 25 | My girlfriend is away for the weekend | 25 | Need to wash and condition my hair | |||
| 35 | My fiancee is away for the weekend | 35 | Need to color my hair | |||
| 48 | My wife is away for the weekend | 48 | Need to have Francois color my hair | |||
| 66 | My second wife is dead | 66 | Need to have Francois color my wig | |||
| AGE | FAVORITE SPORT | AGE | FAVORITE SPORT | |||
| 17 | Sex | 17 | Shopping | |||
| 25 | Sex | 25 | Shopping | |||
| 35 | Sex | 35 | Shopping | |||
| 48 | Sex | 48 | Shopping | |||
| 66 | Taking a nap | 66 | Shopping | |||
| AGE | DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE | AGE | DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE | |||
| 17 | Tongue | 17 | Burger King | |||
| 25 | Breakfast | 25 | Free meal | |||
| 35 | She didn't set back my therapy | 35 | A diamond | |||
| 48 | I didn't have to meet her kids | 48 | A bigger diamond | |||
| 66 | Got home alive | 66 | Matlock reruns | |||
| AGE | FAVORITE FANTASY | AGE | FAVORITE FANTASY | |||
| 17 | Getting to third base | 17 | Tall, dark, and handsome | |||
| 25 | Joining the mile-high club | 25 | Tall, dark, and handsome with money | |||
| 35 | Menage-ŕ-trois | 35 | Tall, dark, and handsome with money and a brain | |||
| 48 | Taking the company public | 48 | A man with hair | |||
| 66 | Swiss maid/Nazi love slave | 66 | A man | |||
| AGE | HOUSEHOLD PET | AGE | HOUSEHOLD PET | |||
| 17 | Roaches | 17 | Muffy the cat | |||
| 25 | Stoner college roomate | 25 | Unemployed boyfriend, Muffy the cat | |||
| 35 | Irish Setter | 35 | Irish Setter, Muffy the cat | |||
| 48 | Children from first marriage | 48 | Children from first marriage, Muffy the cat | |||
| 66 | Anna Nicole Smith | 66 | Stuffed Muffy the cat | |||
| AGE | IDEAL DATE | |||||
| 17 | He offers to pay | |||||
| 25 | He pays | |||||
| 35 | He cooks breakfast the next morning | |||||
| 48 | He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids | |||||
| 66 | He can chew breakfast | |||||
| AGE | WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? | AGE | WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? | |||
| 17 | 25 | 17 | 17 | |||
| 25 | 35 | 25 | 25 | |||
| 35 | 48 | 35 | 35 | |||
| 48 | 66 | 48 | 48 | |||
| 66 | 17 | 66 | 66 | |||
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